A little humour for the day

I recently saw this on my personal facebook page and it made me laugh so much I thought “oh my I must share this with my blogger mateys”

Apparently this is from a pensioner who went shopping in Tesco’s her re-count of an incident….

 

Pensioner’s reply re Tesco

Didn’t like shopping there anyway. Yesterday I was at my local TESCO’ store
buying a large bag of Winalot dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout
queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I’m retired and have little to do, 
on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Winalot Diet again.
I added that I probably shouldn’’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I’d
lost 2 stone before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most
of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works
is to load your pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or
two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well
and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in
queue was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.
I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter’s arse and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
I’m now banned from TESCO’.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world
to think of daft things to say.

Forward this (especially) to all your retired friends… it will be their laugh for the day.

So there you go, be careful next time you decide to ask a daft question to a pensioner what kind of response you might actually get!

Did it give you a giggle?

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  44 comments for “A little humour for the day

  1. May 15, 2014 at 6:15 AM

    Hilarious. And I’m retired so now I’m going to say things like that when people ask me questions where the answer is obvious.

    Do you have a dog? “No, I use these dog biscuits to make biscuits and gravy for my cooking show on BBC. The recipe is wildly popular for breakfast at Buckingham Palace, don’t you know.”

    Liked by 1 person

    • May 15, 2014 at 6:57 AM

      Haha but you know I do ask daft questions constantly like when a woman was breast feeding I asked if she was the nanny! Omg I was so sleep deprived with a young baby myself and I said it in a crowd omg I wanted to die!!!! So embarrasonf

      Liked by 1 person

    • May 15, 2014 at 10:23 AM

      Haha you know I expect you will get wilder and wilder the older you get! Winks x

      Like

      • May 15, 2014 at 3:34 PM

        Absolutely. I like the description “salty old woman”

        Like

        • May 16, 2014 at 9:41 AM

          me too, isn’t that great, we shall have to think up some other great terminologies x

          Like

          • May 16, 2014 at 1:47 PM

            That would be a fun proct 🙂

            Like

          • May 16, 2014 at 1:47 PM

            That was supposed to be project. My fingers haven’t had their coffee yet!

            Like

            • May 16, 2014 at 1:53 PM

              you just inspired me to make a brew of coffee x

              Like

              • May 16, 2014 at 1:56 PM

                We’ll sip together 💗💥😍

                Like

  2. May 15, 2014 at 6:33 AM

    Omg, hahahha! This is hilarious! Now why would they ban her for that?? They should give her a Customer of the Year award!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. May 15, 2014 at 6:37 AM

    Very good Justine, made me laugh. Gotta watch us retired folk.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. May 15, 2014 at 7:52 AM

    I loved this. I am going to reblog it!!! Thanks for the laugh. I loved the part where she said she stepped off the curb to smell an irish setters ass. LMAO!

    Like

  5. May 15, 2014 at 10:04 AM

    Awesome!! I wish I could meet this guy in person, I’d love a little chat!

    Like

    • May 15, 2014 at 10:22 AM

      Lol it was a little old woman! But
      Very funny 🙂

      Like

      • May 15, 2014 at 10:23 AM

        I suspected that it was a lady rather than a gentleman, we women are way moooore fun!

        Like

  6. May 15, 2014 at 11:22 AM

    I expect I will have time then to blog every few days once I’ve retired (in June). I often wonder how folks come up with so many postings per week… so now I know :)). Funny story!

    Like

    • May 16, 2014 at 9:39 AM

      hehe, there are many ways 🙂 does take a fair bit of time though x

      Like

  7. May 15, 2014 at 12:39 PM

    ❤ LOL! 😀

    Like

  8. May 15, 2014 at 12:51 PM

    Thanks for a good chuckle.

    Like

  9. May 15, 2014 at 4:02 PM

    That’s absolutely hysterical.

    Like

    • May 16, 2014 at 9:41 AM

      I know, had me laughing out loud 🙂 Thank you for popping by, please do so again x

      Like

  10. May 16, 2014 at 1:11 AM

    Love love love it! I’m guessing hubby will be that kind of retired guy. He already wears overalls, now he just needs some stories.

    Like

  11. May 19, 2014 at 10:37 PM

    Am sending this on to my Mum. It is sooo something she would say!!!

    Like

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