Writing 101 Day Seven: 10 minutes of my life!

Writing 101 Day Seven: Give & Take

Focus today’s post on the contrast between two things. The twist? Write the post in the form of a dialogue.

The Kids – Josh 8 Zac 11

Josh: “blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah” (loudly)

Zac:  “shut up Josh”

Josh: “blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah” (even louder)

Zac: (getting red faced) “shut up Josh” (said louder and a shove on his shoulder)

Josh: (screams) “whaaaahhhhh you hurt me, blah blah blah” (screaming this now) “why do I have to stop, blah blah blah”

Zac: (eyes glazed in fury now) “Because your acting like an idiot, I hate the noise” (screaming now)

Josh: (crocodile tears now) “But your making more noise than me, your always making noises with your tics and your screaming at me, don’t tell me to shut up, muuuuummy zac told me to shut up and hurt me” (shouting really loudly now)

Zac:  (stands up and wrestles Josh to the floor) “shuuuuuttt up, stop the noise, you imbecile, shuuuut UPPPPPP screaming and crying” (punches him lightly a few times in the arm

Josh: screams his head off now, really loudly

Mother steps in (me, frazzled, ear drums thumping):  “Zac if you don’t like the noise, I suggest in future you don’t scream shut up at him, call him names, or wrestle him to the floor or he will end up making more noise”

Zac:  (gets even more furious and attempts to argue and protest)

Mother: “Joshua get up and stop screaming, no one likes your constant noise, remember when you really  need someone to pay attention to you rather than try to ‘get rid of the noise’ you will have no one there to help, be mindful when you make your noise”

Both frowning at me, snotty and red faced

Mother: “anyone want a biscuit?”

Episode over as if never happened

A typical 10 minutes in my life with one son who likes quiet yet seems to invoke noise and my other son who constantly loves to make a noise but seems not to know when to stop.

 

Nice ending 🙂

To push yourself, I’d try revising this and removing the names at the start of the lines, to write a more flowing dialogue. A lot of what you have in parentheses right now are great details to sprinkle throughout, and then you’d have a really engaging narrative rather than a script-style post. Just a thought!

(watch this space as this is something I am going to try 🙂  )

As always thank you for reading, does this resonate with you at all?

Justine x

  26 comments for “Writing 101 Day Seven: 10 minutes of my life!

  1. June 10, 2014 at 4:43 PM

    Yep, you’re a real mother. No doubt about it. 🙂
    Much Respect
    Ronovan
    Fellow 101 Participant

    Like

    • June 10, 2014 at 4:45 PM

      hah yay thank you so much for reading 🙂 I’ve been catching up today and that one is a regular occurence in a variety of forms lol….:D

      Like

  2. Sinfully Tempting
    June 10, 2014 at 4:50 PM

    Love this post, it was almost as if I was there in your home watching things unfold, hahaha. And all it took was a biscuit to make it all go away. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • June 10, 2014 at 4:56 PM

      It’s chocolate in my house 😉 xx

      Liked by 1 person

      • Sinfully Tempting
        June 10, 2014 at 5:12 PM

        LOL! Any type of food works around here. 🙂

        Like

        • June 10, 2014 at 6:47 PM

          yeh, sweet foods for sure, or pies and meat for the males!

          Like

      • June 10, 2014 at 6:45 PM

        oh that would work for me forget the kids lol

        Like

    • June 10, 2014 at 6:45 PM

      haha I know its like world war 3 and a biscuit make it all go away hehe

      Liked by 1 person

  3. June 10, 2014 at 4:58 PM

    This lasted for ten minutes? And the award for the Most Tolerant Mother goes to…….you!

    Like

    • June 10, 2014 at 6:47 PM

      haha lol, you would be surprised, one bout of screaming feels like it lasts a lifetime let alone 10 mins 😀

      Like

  4. June 10, 2014 at 5:01 PM

    I love it! And yes, it resonates with me totally. Thankfully they are memories from 30 years ago or so………but I remember them well.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. June 10, 2014 at 10:21 PM

    I am surprised he knows the word, “imbecile.”
    This is hilarious, but you know my heart goes to you. 🙂

    P.S. I wrote a little something about you & your blog on my post today. Once Josh & Zac are napping, go check it out 🙂
    http://circahappy.com/2014/06/10/dragonfruit-pitaya-smoothie/

    Like

    • June 11, 2014 at 6:00 PM

      awe thank you i just saw it, so behind with everything but so grateful to you that is truly lovely 🙂 huggles xx

      Like

  6. June 10, 2014 at 11:34 PM

    I don’t have little ones anymore but I do remember those days. good post!

    Like

  7. June 11, 2014 at 12:44 AM

    Are you sure you weren’t looking in on my house instead? 🙂 Switch out the boys for girls and it may as well have been lol

    Like

  8. June 11, 2014 at 1:55 AM

    Siblings. It’s universal 🙂

    Like

    • June 11, 2014 at 6:02 PM

      i know! probably about make up or something with girls xx hehe…

      Like

  9. June 11, 2014 at 1:56 PM

    As a mom of an only child, I don’t experience this. As an elder daughter, I kind of relate to it though 😉 Very compact post 🙂

    Like

    • June 11, 2014 at 6:07 PM

      thank you ive been set the challenge to make it lengthier with writing more of the actions etc so I might well try that 🙂

      Like

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