Writing 101, Day Nine: A story with a difference! Will I surprise you?

Writing 101, Day Nine:

A man and a woman walk through the park together, holding hands. They pass an old woman sitting on a bench. The old woman is knitting a small, red sweater. The man begins to cry. Write this scene.

For this days challenge, we are to continue the story in whosoever way we so desire! 😀

It was a lovely sunny day, the sky bright blue, the warm rays seemingly giving everyone a cheery disposition.

Mary and Bob had not been dating long, she had met him on one of those online dating sites. Things seemed to be going well, enough so that they would spend times at each others houses.

Mary was a bit of a slob when it came to house keeping however Bob on the other hand was a right royal surprise for Mary.  His place was spic and span, not a loose hair on the floor, no dust in sight and surfaces completely clean and minimalist.

Bob had a waterbed, which Mary thought really rather wild.  Mary had a herb garden which Bob was profoundly jealous of, though the relationship was too young for him to be relaxed enough to show it.

Mary was a vegetarian, Bob was on the other hand a big meat eater, usually liking something red and bloody each weekend, however this had not blighted their union, after all opposites attract right?

They strolled through the grass, Bob always seemed to be slightly behind, Mary found herself feeling slightly like she was pulling Bob along but in her mind she just thought he was getting distracted with appreciating nature and dawdling under the suns rays.

Bob seemed to find himself gazing at the dogs being walked on leads, tears unexpectedly bursting upon the rims of his eyes ‘he thought he had left that life alone a long time ago.’  Sighing louder than expected Mary turned to glance at him, twitching a brow of concern.

“Are you alright Bob, did you used to have a dog?”

Bob shook his head going a shade of scarlet “no” he said abruptly which he then regretted.

Mary then went a shade of red, feeling she had perhaps embarrassed him somehow or trodden upon unchartered territory.

They passed a little old woman, knitting something red.

Bob’s head swirled a mass of emotions like a thunderstorm taking over his thoughts ‘how was he going to do this, he thought he had left his old life behind, he was now with Mary, things were different, or so he thought.’

As much as Bob blinked, new tears seemed to rise like a burst pipe “urgh how embarrassing he blurted”

Mary touched his cheek.

The little old lady had looked up, spotting the young couple, hand in hand.  They had stopped nearby, something seemed to be wrong.  She didn’t get out that often, or should we say, didn’t get to meet many people that often, so watching others antics fascinated her.  She stared.

Bob and Mary didn’t notice.

“Have you ever had a pet Mary?”

Mary’s eyes lit up like chandeliers, almost glimmering like a spread of diamonds.

Bob was slightly taken aback at the beauty that suddenly radiated from her mousy yet endearing features.

“No Bob, never but I have always wanted a pet, it is my heart’s desire, I was never allowed one as a child, I wouldn’t care what it was, I just want a pet, something to look after, to walk, to feed, something to hold and cherish, a bonus if it were to nuzzle against my leg” she grinned

Bob’s heart raced.

“Why?” asked Mary

“I can  gives you your heart’s desire Mary”

“Really?” she retorted

Bob’s chest felt like it was a dam about to explode as his heart thundered like a million horses on a rampage.

‘It was now or never, make or break, that was it, he had to do it, he had to be honest, in for a penny in for a pound’ those true British sayings came punching at each and ever corner of his mind egging him on.

The old lady watched on.  Things seemed to be getting a little animated between the couple, their faces were bright, ah young love.  She had stopped knitting and was clutching the needles between fingers housing swollen joints.  She squinted to get a better view.

Bob saw the bushes surrounding the park seem to get higher, his knees hitting the slightly soft grass “yes” he almost whispered “yesss” he said louder “yessss you can have a pet, you can” his palms now meeting the soft turf as he dared not to look up, now on all fours, his cheek pressing in to her calf “woof, woof, whimper, whimper.”

He felt a playful slap across the back of his head “BOB” Mary exclaimed, “stop fooling around.”

He looked up, a heartfelt look upon his features, puppydog eyes “I am serious, it is what I need and what I hope you need.”

Mary stood there, inadvertently swallowing a few flies as her mouth gaped.

To those keen of hearing there was a clatter of knitting needles as a well used pair dropped to the cement tiles under the bench upon which a little old lady sat, staring at a young couple aghast.

“The End”

So what do you reckon Mary did?  Kick him in to touch?  Or do you think she became Mistress Mary and Bob her faithful hound dog?

As always thank you for reading/viewing!

 © Justine @ Eclecticoddsnsods.com

As you might have guessed, I wanted to throw it out of the box, do something different with this “follow on the story prompt”

Hah!!

 

 

  24 comments for “Writing 101, Day Nine: A story with a difference! Will I surprise you?

  1. June 15, 2014 at 7:13 PM

    Wow I wasn’t expecting that! lol. A very interesting take on it missus xx

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  2. June 15, 2014 at 7:43 PM

    Hehe 😀 No, I think nobody expected what’s in the depths of your mind 😉 That’s a cool story and I love the nosy old lady!

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  3. June 15, 2014 at 8:34 PM

    I’m laughing. I certainly would never have guessed you would go that direction….. what ever direction that was! 🙂

    You definitely went out of the box. And I don’t know if you saw it but one of the first challenges a student gave was to write something funny rather than sad. You did it!

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    • June 15, 2014 at 9:59 PM

      Hah well I achieved my objective of surprise and making at least one person laugh so my jobs done…winks x

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      • June 15, 2014 at 10:09 PM

        Very true! 🙂

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  4. June 15, 2014 at 10:45 PM

    I’ll give you unique! 🙂 Reminds me of a CSI show I saw…
    Though instead of continuing yours, I took the prompt and wrote first before reading your piece. I went with flash fiction. Though I didn’t count the words. 🙂

    Thank you and enjoy:
    https://julesinflashyfiction.wordpress.com/2014/06/15/prompted-bonnie-genes/

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    • June 16, 2014 at 6:01 AM

      Hey thank you for popping by I did go to yours and leave a comment 🙂 it’s lovely to get feedback isn’t it? X

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      • June 16, 2014 at 4:25 PM

        Prompts can be fun. That is for sure. I wish I had the time to stop by every one. I’ve finished my morning chore… even away laundry needs to be done. Now I have to catch up on my daily writing and Sunday prompts – then some return visits and then I can do some more exploring either on land or in the net 😉

        I do try to think outside of the box. Makes for interesting twists that way. Part of my inspiration was the NCIS program where the one gal Abby has a happy reunion with her twin brother.

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        • June 17, 2014 at 11:29 AM

          ah yes i read about the happy re union, we should have done a story bit by bit being passed from one person to another that would be fun lol x

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          • June 17, 2014 at 3:26 PM

            I’ve sort of been doing that with a vampire story – though I haven’t written for it for awhile.

            You can find that here:
            http://julesinflashyfiction.wordpress.com/ff-continuing-story-w-a-j-the-vampire-adventure/

            It is fun to write with some one. There is another prompt somewhere that has I thin at least 10 different people adding to one story. I didn’t join that one. But any time you want to do and alternate …just let me know. Maybe we can figure something out. 🙂

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            • June 17, 2014 at 4:49 PM

              oh that sounds exciting if you find where that follow on story line is would be fab to know it and yes perhaps we should think something up to do…hehe..a new type of challenge 😀

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              • June 17, 2014 at 5:01 PM

                You can read the whole thing – (mostly each piece) is only 100 words – but it is quite long now at the link I included. My co-writer is actually turning his side into a book. He writes from the vampire side and I write from the gal who he is trying to catch!

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                • June 17, 2014 at 5:18 PM

                  thats great your doing a long story through short flash fiction pieces and your doing it with someone else too?

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                  • June 17, 2014 at 5:31 PM

                    Yep. I took a break though. As the weekly prompt we were working from basically was a photo prompt site. And well, some folks weren’t too keen on serials. Which is OK. But I felt kind of bad not having the time to visit many of the other writers. Of which there were at any given week over 50 or sometimes 80 participants.

                    I also have other continuing stories that I do by myself. I use different wordle prompt lists. They are on my fiction site and the two I am currently working on are Skywalker and Sonja’s Series. The links can be found on pages here:

                    http://julesinflashyfiction.wordpress.com/

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                    • June 17, 2014 at 6:40 PM

                      yes entering challenges isnt just the writing it is the commenting the visiting and all takes time, some people dont realize that then see it is too much for them x

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  5. June 17, 2014 at 7:07 PM

    Metamorphosis!

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    • June 17, 2014 at 7:08 PM

      🙂

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      • June 17, 2014 at 7:10 PM

        Hmm.Should I have said something else?

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        • June 17, 2014 at 7:13 PM

          Oh no always say what you feel that’s the whole point of it 🙂

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          • June 17, 2014 at 7:16 PM

            Ok. 😉
            In fact,I said ‘Metamorphosis’,because that’s what your post reminded of.
            Metamorphosis: perhaps the best known short story of Franz Kafka,one where a man wakes up and finds himself transformed into an insect-like creature!

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            • June 17, 2014 at 8:01 PM

              Oh I don’t know that story it sounds like ‘The Fly’

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