Writing 201: Fog

Writing 201: Fog

Writing 201: Fog

Writing 201: Fog

I cannot remember how it was to long for you that much

I cannot remember what it feels like to have your touch

My heart bears striations of scars

As if burnt by your expensive cigars

Life seemed to stop the day you disappeared

Everything since seems to be tinged in dark fear

I once could freely breathe

But now my life seems bequeath

To the fog that taints every intense sense

Every smell, every touch clouded in suspence

Nothing is now clear

except the pain that I now bear

I feel if i might be happy I will choke on the air

Forcing myself to forget your fingers upon my hair

One day you might return

Until then for you I yearn

ยฉ Justine Nagaur

Your prompt: fog

Todayโ€™s form: elegy

Todayโ€™s device: metaphor

(please note the image is not my own & appears to have been used through multiple sites the originator of which seems to have disappeared, hence no credit)

 

 

  45 comments for “Writing 201: Fog

  1. February 20, 2015 at 3:22 PM

    Great job Justine. I really enjoyed it

    Liked by 1 person

  2. February 20, 2015 at 3:47 PM

    I swear i shed a tear reading that.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. February 20, 2015 at 3:50 PM

    The header photograph set the mood for the rest of the poem. Excellent.

    Liked by 1 person

    • February 20, 2015 at 6:35 PM

      thank you :0 Wasnt my own but a good find hehe x

      Like

  4. February 20, 2015 at 4:18 PM

    Impressive and begs the question is this real or fantasy.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. February 20, 2015 at 4:38 PM

    Wow Justine, this is so deep…truly enjoyed reading this. You ARE a poet, my dear…a real natural.

    Liked by 1 person

    • February 20, 2015 at 6:35 PM

      hah wow, thank you for your words and a wow from you is a real wow, i am super chuffed, glad you enjoyed it ๐Ÿ™‚ xx huggles x

      Like

      • February 20, 2015 at 9:27 PM

        You think too highly of me my dear…I am a humble writer trying to learn a bit more each day.

        Liked by 1 person

        • February 21, 2015 at 8:08 AM

          maybe humble in mind but you are a wonderful writer x

          Liked by 1 person

          • February 21, 2015 at 12:16 PM

            Ah you are so very sweet, Justine:) Thank you for your generous comment:)

            Liked by 1 person

            • February 21, 2015 at 6:04 PM

              awe a pleasure, i hope your having a lovely weekend? x

              Like

              • February 21, 2015 at 9:49 PM

                Thanks it is short…just one day…that`s why I wrote most of my posts to catch up, all night until this morning.

                Liked by 1 person

                • February 22, 2015 at 6:48 PM

                  oh my, really? Up all night writing poetry? x

                  Like

                  • February 22, 2015 at 9:28 PM

                    haibun, poetry and short story

                    Liked by 1 person

                    • February 23, 2015 at 10:12 AM

                      gosh that sounds soo much but i guess one can blame your muse right? Talking of which my Event tomorrow is about muses, I would love it if you would joine me in it, it will be posted tomorrow morning. Today i wrote a ballad as part of the poetry course, i had fun with it ๐Ÿ™‚ xx

                      Like

          • February 22, 2015 at 5:58 AM

            I agree with you…. and with her!

            Liked by 1 person

  6. Jen
    February 21, 2015 at 4:49 AM

    This one absolutely seethed with pain and longing — so many brilliant lines in it too — “My heart bears striations of scars / As if burnt by your expensive cigars ” — it’s as if, in two brief lines, we know all we need know about the lost-one and his cruelty. We’re walking on eggshells with you — afraid to be happy, afraid to feel pain — and I held my breath the whole way through it. Nicely done — I am SO GLAD you’re doing this poetry exercise! And looking forward to the next installment. You rock, Justine — really — great stuff.

    Liked by 1 person

    • February 21, 2015 at 6:01 PM

      oooh thank you, your words made me blush thank you sooo much. I am glad you liked it and when it invokes something with someone emotionally in some way that is always very rewarding ๐Ÿ™‚ I am glad to be doing this too though a challenge for sure xx Really appreciate your support on this journey x

      Liked by 1 person

      • Jen
        February 22, 2015 at 1:29 AM

        Always glad to support a fellow poet — and a good one at that!

        A fellow blogger called writing poetry “wrestling a bear in a tiny boat”. You’re a great bear-wrangler. ๐Ÿ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

        • February 22, 2015 at 6:53 PM

          haha that is a great saying and hah i have such an image of myself now lol, but seriously I don’t think I would wrangle a bear, let alone if i were in a boat with one, I would SWIM!!!! and fast haha

          Liked by 1 person

  7. February 21, 2015 at 5:27 PM

    Oh this is so deeply beautiful and easy to relate to … you are a natural talent there’s no doubt about it .. I agree with Jen , I’m so glad you’re doing this poetry course …. really fantastic work you’re putting out!

    Liked by 1 person

    • February 21, 2015 at 6:06 PM

      awe thank you, having your support and from others especially those of you who write poetry sooo much is really confidence boosting, so I truly appreciate you coming by x

      Like

      • February 22, 2015 at 7:21 AM

        My pleasure really! I just wish I had a little more time, because your poetry is worth savouring!

        Liked by 1 person

  8. February 21, 2015 at 7:41 PM

    wow – this is such deep reflection and classical!

    Liked by 1 person

    • February 22, 2015 at 6:46 PM

      Thank you Mihrank I am glad you like it ๐Ÿ™‚ x

      Like

  9. February 22, 2015 at 6:03 AM

    You did such a good job of this. I’m very impressed. I finally put mine up but I don’t like it. It originally had a lot of rhyming but that didn’t work either. So I decided to just write the content I wanted to say and claim incompetence! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Also interesting that when it posted it was posted on the draft day rather than today…. so it is buried. A sign? I’m leaving it up at least long enough to see if Word Press can tell me why that happened.

    Liked by 1 person

    • February 22, 2015 at 6:54 PM

      hah your not incompetent but it did make me laugh what you said.

      I don’t know about the draft, that is usually int he settings of the publishing schedule? x

      Liked by 1 person

      • February 22, 2015 at 9:01 PM

        Apparently when you save a draft it saves that as the publishing date so you need to change it when you actually publish the post.

        Liked by 1 person

        • February 22, 2015 at 9:27 PM

          Oh wow I have loads of drafts glad you told me x

          Liked by 1 person

          • February 22, 2015 at 9:58 PM

            I’m not absolutely sure that is the case, but it is definitely important to double check the publishing date when you are about to post it.

            Liked by 1 person

            • February 23, 2015 at 10:13 AM

              wow i will thats really weird i wonder why they would do that, so you mean your post disappears to ages back if you dont alter it? x

              Like

              • February 23, 2015 at 3:14 PM

                I just got ready to publish the draft for my ballad and it had this present time on it so my theory was wrong. I have no idea why the other one published with a date that was two days in the past. I wrote WordPress to ask and will let you know what they say.

                Liked by 1 person

  10. artseafartsea
    February 23, 2015 at 3:12 AM

    Loved the poem!

    Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: